3 not-so-quicks

Sometimes I wonder if I have the time, energy, and ability to write regularly and sustain a single idea into an entire coherent blog post.  Usually my mind works in fits and starts and I am better at noticing things I find interesting, amusing, heart-warming, inspiring, or a blessing to me.  They take too long to formulate and write rapidly, so I am going to call them "not-so-quicks." I'm just getting the hang of this and I am sure some will be worth more than others, but here they are.

1. Fear and Loathing in the human heart
   What is it about naked manipulations of otherwise seemingly rational people using fear based rhetoric that is so effective? 

And why do I seethe with rage when I hear this kind of argumentation? 

Maybe they work so well because we overstate the argument that human beings are rational creatures. 

Perhaps I hate them because they are better at provoking reaction than producing helpful dialogue. 

Maybe they work so well because they are more about what is unsaid and unanswered.

Perhaps I hate them because it is in the aftermath of these arguments that chaos and disorder play havoc.

Maybe they work so well that they will never be properly banished from sane conversation

Perhaps I hate them so much because I bear the stripes of their irrational fury

2. 9 most difficult leadership positions
Forbes posted an article about the 9 toughest leadership positions. And...

...the moms have it. 

That's right. For hours required, gratitude received, and harshness of performance review there's nothing harder than a stay at home mom.  I think I would have guessed this and not guessed it at the same time.

 On one hand,  full time mothering doesn't have a clocking in and out mechanism.  It doesn't have a union, and, most telling, it doesn't produce a paycheck.  Unless you count soggy cheerios and artwork on the freshly painted living room walls. 

Yet on the other, I have witnessed since becoming an adult how labor intensive having and raising a kid is.  Thankless? Yes. Stressful? Yes. Demoralizing? Often. But do the moms I know regret it? Amazingly, no.

 I'm glad to hear the business conglomerate Forbes identify something paradoxically self-evident that most of us remain blissfully unaware of.  Moms are great!  Here's one who blogs. 
   
3. "Do you mind..."
Recently I had a conversation at a cafeteria where I work.  I stepped around a person in line waiting for her order to take one of the pre-prepped gyros on the counter.  I was not cutting, rather she had ordered something that needed a second to prepare.  (I don't have that kind of patience, especially when I am hungry.)  As I reached passed her, I asked the perfunctory,

"Do you mind if I grab one of the..."

"Yeah sure!" she replied reactively.

  A captive to my grammatical upbringing, I pulled back quickly and she noticed, looked at me for the first time, and smiled shyly. 

"I mean, of course I don't mind...I never know how to respond to that question." I apologized for asking a confusing question, reached again for the sandwich. 

It was a funny exchange that broke the normal etiquette of a lunch line with its perfect mix of affected politeness and ineffective attempts to mask annoyance.  I have never stumbled into a conversation by "stumbling" into a conversation like that, but maybe there's a way to redeem the imprecision which creeps into random conversation because our minds are somewhere else. 

So whether its answering "good" instead of "well" when someone inquires of your health.  Or trying to emphasize something by saying "irregardless" rather than "regardless." Or perhaps, as I have been guilty, exposing one's ignorance that the word "penultimate" does not by any means mean "Very Ultimate," maybe these slight linguistic faux pas have a deeper purpose while not meaning what we mean. 

So if you are ever in the back of the line and ask the penultimate person in front of you to grab something briefly and be away, and he responds
"I could care less."

Smile and ask "Could you? Or Couldn't you?"

Then introduce yourself.

"The Beginning of a Beautiful Friendship?"

You know something. I almost gave up this idea of blogging again, because I couldn't think of a good name for my blog.  I still don't think I have found it yet, but I have decided its not worth failing over, and its not going to make me or break me as a blogger. 

"A good title is the title of a successful (blog)." -Raymond Chandler

As a way of coping with my title block, I have reverted to the default mode of writers when they need distraction: research.  Yet still puzzled about this eponymous dilemma, I decided to see if there were any other writers who have shared my problem.  Like a support group of sorts. In my search I came across an article of some great works of literature and films which have titles their authors did not originally intend.  So these well known paragons of Western art were purportedly conceived, written, and edited without the title they now bear which is as much a part of their reputation, and in some cases moreso.  More people have heard of, know the story, and understand the cultural weight of "War and Peace" than have actually read it.  And why not? Its a blindingly long book.  But the interesting thing is that for its entire creation, it was not "War and Peace" at all.  Its "working title" was "All's Well that Ends Well." (Yeah, like the Shakespeare play!) Beyond that being a cool piece of trivia, it left with me with two ideas and amazingly, a "working title" for my blog.

  1) Thank God for the editing process.
 

  2) If "War and Peace" could originally be called "All's Well That Ends Well," then my blog could be called pretty much anything I chose and it wasn't going to make it more or less worth reading. (link)
 

And yes, my search for something to distract me from how much I was failing as a blogger though I had not yet decided to blog led me to this gem (#10)   That's right, even the original title for possibly the greatest film ever flat out stunk.  And at that moment, after reading that this classic, my favorite movie of all time, was originally called "Everybody Comes to Rick's" I had an epiphany.  That's what my blog should be called.  Why? Because that's what my blog needs right now to get me going.  It needs a title that works.  Incomplete, imperfect, not quite right, but something. 

If you haven't seen it, you should.  Its a great movie and there's lots of reasons why. But a big reason I love it is how it explores the idea of hope. In what "Everybody Comes to Rick's" became, everyone hoped.  The hope for a visa to get to a new place of safety and opportunity.  The hope that a cause would not be crushed by fascism.  The hope that you can really run away from love. Likewise a working title drips with hope, especially if its acknowledged as a working title at the onset. In the case of this blog, maybe somewhere in the future the real title will hit me like a piece of falling sky. Maybe not.  Its not going to keep me from beginning.

Yet every journey, whether its to the new world or a new blog, begins with small steps and requires a little luck.  So if you are with me from the beginning or from somewhere along the way. Welcome.  With a little license taken, (and its the digital age so why not) I'll leave you with this

It's still the same old story
A fight for love and glory
A case of do or die.
The world will always welcome (bloggers)
As time goes by.